I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
I will die if light touches me.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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