i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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