between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
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