I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
Randomize
