What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
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