We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
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