Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
