I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
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