the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
