so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
Randomize
