i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
Randomize