I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
