she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
My penis needs a shock collar
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Randomize
