Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
The Olympian is in my bed
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