Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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