She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
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