I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
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