I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
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