Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
