you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize
