do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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