Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
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