My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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