you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Randomize
