She's JV to your varsity
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
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