your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
