those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Randomize
