"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize