Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Randomize