Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
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