dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
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