I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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