Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Randomize
