yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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