I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
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