It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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