so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
