My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
