does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
