I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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