Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Randomize
