I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Sex in the backyard? Check.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
