Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize