i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
