38 yer olds are good kisserssss
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Randomize
