bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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