so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize
