I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize
