For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Randomize
