Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Randomize
