Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
