Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(646): View more from New York

A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"

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(571): View more from Virginia

i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame

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(310): View more from California

but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.

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(813): View more from Florida

For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me

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(973): View more from New Jersey

A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.

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(315): View more from New York

i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.

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(630): View more from Illinois

He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.

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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk

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(315): View more from New York

Don't Richard Nixon her vagina

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