just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Randomize
