forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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