sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize