Whats the glycemic index on semen?
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
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