I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Randomize
