So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
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